trulyfab

Yes daytime t.v has swallowed me up,i am now a fan of countdown but probably only because i got a few good words and all the number rounds.
Done the pumpkin tonight,and tomorrow im going to make a pot of pumpkin soup and if theres enough left over pumpkin pie,the little trick or treaters wont come back nxt year when i start handing them out cups of soup heehee

I feel as if i havent put anything on this for a while even though lots has been happening,still more or less log on everyday to read others blogs.I only started the blog on this site because the one i had on myspace was getting read by my ex and no matter wot i done to bar him from seeing it he still got into it somehow,probably knew my password.
I handed my notice into my childminder last week,as ive lost one contract and now have a poxy part time job i can no longer claim for help towards the payments.Now this is why theres so many single parents on the social,if you work less than 16 hours you cant claim tax credits and if you earn more than £69 working part time you cant claim benefits,ive always bn lucky enough to have a job or jobs but what i dont understand is the goverments always banging on about getting single parents out to work and they will do everything to help!!!!
And on the boytoy front,well really cant see me moving to the other side of scotland,ive been living on my own for over 6 years and to suddenly become a step mum to 2 kids and a wife is a bit overwhelming,i did seriously consider it i even consulted with care bear to find out her views,shes all for it but i dont think the reality of suddenly not being an only child and having to share me with others would make her as happy as she thinks,ive always said i dont want more children so taking on 2 other is well im not sure,i couldnt move into his house as it would be his and to rent a place would be just under a grand p/m as its the capital so emotionally physically and financially its not possible at this time,i think the fact that i was all for binning him not that long ago also adds to my list of cons,the pros have bn very few.
Plus one of the bands ive been into over the past few years have split up (not sure if i already blogged this) Dirty Pretty Things are no more well after this tour anyway,have bn to all there gigs in glasgow and managed to see them 2 nights in a row this month and got one of the drumsticks that Gary Powell used during the gig so im happy i have a piece of wood pride of place under the windowsil.oh went to see Cyndi Lauper last week,bit of a shaky start,"hello shepards bush" didnt go down to well at the glasgow carling academy,i was a tad dubious about this gig just because i was a big fan in the 80's plus the fact my ribs were still bruised from the charlatans gig,but t'was a good gig in the end.wouldnt rush out to get tickets for her the next time but its another gig in the bag.
And now im off to do mummsie stuff like make the beds and give the place the once over and get tonights food ready,the novelty is beginning to wear off but my mums ecstatic that my house has never been so clean and tidy.

Got told today that one of my jobs no longer required my services but to be honest im not sure i care any more,im currently handing in sicklines because the dreaded clinical depression has set in yet again,this is becoming to be a bit of a habit at this time of year.On a kind a plus note boytoy got down on one knee on saturday night,we had met at a charlatans gig last year and went to see them on saturday as it was a year since we met,suppose it was kind of romantic of him doing it infront of our friends and dozens of random people,although i did tell him that he better be getting down to tie a shoe lace and then bam he popped the question,ive been considering binning him and then a few weeks ago i realised that i couldnt because no matter what i did have extraordinary feelings for him,im not sure how gutted he was when i said no but he told every passer by how i had knocked him back,when we got home he asked if i would consider moving in with him.Not really sure what to do but i am tempted and now ive lost one of my jobs and im not happy at my other place of work oh and lots of other things that are giong on between my daughters father and me it seems like a good idea,the only thing i'd be loosing is my house really but if w edo it properly then i should still feel secure,ive spoke with my daughter about it and she thinks its a great idea,all the kids get on great with each other his kids think im the bee's knees as does mine about him,even my mum thinks its a great idea and could really be the making of me.The only thing holding me back is knowing im in a vulnerable position at the moment because of looosing a job and being back on anti depressants.
Still cant believe he got down on one knee though,maybe i shouldve said yes!!!!

to say and dont know where to begin,suppose i can get it all out my system over the next few days