trulyfab

..this morning feeling rather agitated,dont like it when that happens put me out of sorts for the day,and still cant figuree out why im feeling this way!!!
Anyway im off for 4 days for easter break so rather looking forward to that,was kind of hoping that i could get at least one day to myself to get the house sorted,catch up on a few bands on myspace n basically doing hee haw and not having responsibility for kids but looks like my little plans will be put on hold,wouldnt mind but the weathers meant to be ghastly so no rolling the eggs down Kelvingrove park or any other outdoor activities.
sent a letter to the little girl (in a previous post)but as yet dont know whats going to happen,probably nothing knowing the social work around here,another kid slipt through the net.dont want to sound cold but i cant go on forever caring for her,its not fair on my daughter,my kid has alot going on in her own little mind with her dad and stuff and to be honest im emotionally drained these days,this year hasnt been the best and everytime i think its going to get better another problem or bad news comes up,im not a bad person and i know that what doesnt break you makes you stronger but for once in my young little life i would just like something nice to happen,i do a good deed every day so just wish someone up there would cut me some slack.
i think im feeling rather sorry for myself which i shouldnt i have good health a beautiful child good loyal friends a job i enjoy,maybe i should just give myself a good shake n get over it!!

ok heres the thing,i could be over reacting but..i think one of my daughters pals is being neglected,a few things have happened over the last couple of months which has made me think maybe alls not right at her house.The little girls always hungry (i feed her every night) her hairs always matted (i wash it dry it and put it up in bunches) her clothes are stinking (so i let her dress up in my kids clothes so i can give them a quick wash) shes never happy,does things to get attention,never wants to go home.this kid is 8,her mum died a few years back so its just ger her dad n 2 older brothers,the dad spends most nights in the pub and her brothers are teenagers so,well we all no what teenage boys are like.i could be seriously over reacting,maybe she just likes being at my house for female company. Cant really speak to any of my other neighbours as i dont have anything to do with them well dont want anything to do with them (i live in glasgows equvalent of shameless's chatsworth estate) so what do i do?apart from feeding her cleaning her and making sure she gets home ok,dont want to go down the whole social worker road as ive been trained in child protection i know what you can and cannot ask,and unfortunatly the questions i would like to ask i cant because its child protection laws.

Most people when starting a new job worry about what the people you'll be working with are like,will i like the job,have i made a mistake,no not me apparently,my fear was how the hell do i get there? i havent been on a bus for over four years and heres me last night looking up bus timetables.the thing is even though i have this new job i do have another one that finishes at 11.30 in the morning but had to start this new one at 12,so there was me this morning first at ten past midnight (ok i fell asleep watching t.v n woke up with random crap blaring in my ear) then i woke up at 4,really worried if the bus that comes at 11.36 would get me there in time and more importantly would i even manage to get that bus,then at 5 i woke up again,then yip uve guessed it at 6,my alarm doesnt go off til quarter to 7 so lay in my bed worrying about buses.It was all good in the end,left my morning shift walked to the bus stop n even had time for a quick cig before the bus came,got to my destination in plenty of time to get there and a quick walk about to see what was what etc.and to make things better my new manager told me at the end of my shift that i shouldnt bust a gut to get there,so i assume she was impressed with my work as ive trained to do this work and done it for more than 8 years i managed to get myself up to speed within half an hour of being there,and to really top it off someone else said they could give me a lift home every day as she lives a few streets away,think i might enjoy this job.
thank you to the people who congratulated me on my new employment it was very kind of you and i really appreciate it.

.......of my job on thursday and freeting how not to become another unemployed stastistic i start a new job tomorrow :-) yes people it really is that easy,what you do is get up off your arse make phone calls,trawl the net read every job section in every local newspaper and guess what,yes you to can find a job as easily as that
pat on the back to me,and good news for you lot no overtime top pay for any social security benefits :-)

about a few things,i'll get the most annoying one out the way first,ok my kids dad has took it apon himself to quit his work,his reasons-if im not working full time then the csa might chase him for maintenance,so instead of being a fuckin man hes a woos,yes this bawbag has took it upon himself to be a grddy bastard by not wanting to support his daughter financially.somethines i wish it was a one night stand and never kne whis name,funny thing is that the day i was going to kick him out my house for being an arsehole i found out i was pregnant and i was all for an abortion (pls dnt comment on the whole abortion thing i am very pro abortion and will argue the ass off you) so anyhows im now really up the greek.
secong thing thats frustrating me today is that im not getting enough loving off my toyboy,ok so we live like 50 miles apart and its difficult cause of his and my family commitments,but when i never i do seee him we have the most amazing sex,i love the whole tantric thing which makes it last for hours,so as you may have guessed i woke up this morning horny as hell and teh toyboys at his house,after my little adventure over christmas with someone else i dont want to do that again as i felt guilty as hell over that,so thats me frustrations out the way,ear bending over im away to spend money i havent got lol

how do people do it?every day they sit in there little houses and watch mind numbing t.v to the point they can name every nugget who has appeared on jeremy kyle and tricia.
yes today was my first day of not working and i'm bored as hell but must point out never once did the t.v get switched on,i listened to the radio and looked for a job online,so heres the thing why the feck are ther eso many people unemployed? ok so some of the jobs required some skill and or qualifications,well instead of sitting on your lazy arse waiting for the weekly giro pop through the letter box go to college uni do some volountry work,but dont just sit in your little comfort box watching the neighbour air there linen on t.v (sad thing is the girl a few doors down was on it a few years back) so im bored i need to find employment,im not fussy i'll sweep the streets,change an old persons nappy,do what ever it takes to get out of this mundane lifestly that i really ont come accustomed to.right now im going to get off my high horse and check another website that will hopefully be full of employment opportunitys and failing that ive got to go to the social on thursday so lots of over time people i'm going to claim benefits for the first time in my life
(would rather starev n freeze than be another handout)

......that tonight will be some nice food maybe a nice steak with roasted veg with a red wine sauce,relaxing bath,few bottles of bud n a spliff or 6.and then i'll phone my mummy n cry like a little kid cause im a self inflicted unemployed person.
or just get wasted n wait til someone else tells my mum

no really im not,im a spur of the moment person,jump in head first and think of th eoutcome later.so today at my afternnon job (im greedy i have 2) i got pulled up for chatting,it wasnt really chatting more a general question about fire exits that have been blocked off,anyways whilst asking said question the area manager walks in and takes me into a little office where she moaned the arse off me for well basically asking about health and safety!!!anyhows the outcome is that after 5 minutes of getting the riot act read to me and then told that several complaints had bn made about me,which 2 minutes later she said was lies no one has ever complained about my work!!!! fuck talk about the she devil,not sure if people think im a walk over because i am a generally a happy helpful chick but had enough and told her to shove her job up her arse.so thats me im fecked one silly little p/t job that wont pay the bills never mind let me have a social life,im not high maintenance and i dont have a fab lifestyle,but i do enjoy going to my gigs n the pub once or twice a month,so thats me im well n truly up the creek without a boat.
problem is that since i left college ive always worked i was one of those mums who was back at work after the 6 month maternity leave,i have never claimed benefits or had to ask for hand outs so this is truly a whole new experience for me,so thank you kind people for working ur little arses off so i can claim everything under the sun and finally become one of those stereo typed dingle mums.......
.....over my dead body anyone want to give me a job??????